PsychoGraph

In this age of political uncertainties and economic downturn, where Ms.Gandhi ruled India with an iron fist and people walked backwards, there are also some cavemen – in caves – who do not recognize the risks and details involved in “chana-mix” business. Most (many many) cavemen feel that life of a ‘chana’ hawker is spicy and yummy – a life with no worries and peppered with assorted types of chic spices. Yes, it is true that “chana-mix” hawkers have instant access to a dash of salt, mustard oil, onion, puffed rice, sliced tomatoes, coriander leaves, chilies and, of course, chickpeas. But, one should also note that “chana-mix” business is a trade so dangerous that if you dare to venture out without wearing armour, you have 100% chance of getting flattened by a speeding truck, while pushing the pushcart on the roadside. At present, it is one of the most dangerous professions known to man. “It’s a lethal profession,” says “chana-mix” trader, Bhola, who always aspired to be a nuclear scien...

Before I walk tiptoe on to my usual route, I must take this opportunity to first apologize to all the loyal readers, fans and admirers (eesh…admirers), for this about to discuss out of character article. But, the intent of this article, my friends, is nonetheless noble and lofty, despite arbitrary in approach. I know everybody out there – doing nothing worthy other than just sitting and playing sudoku– expects only the highest level of journalism, with deep intellectual reflections and unbiased reportage that exposes deepest darkest secrets this world has to hide from you. However, dear friends, far, far way from such filthy serious issues, there are certain follies like improper usage of vibrating apparatus such as cell phones, vacuum cleaner, power-driven dolls/infant toys etc., which actually needs proper attention, so that it could be discussed and resolved forthwith. Ok. Don’t get me wrong with the above statement. The about-to discuss article is, in fact, a recycled concept of a ...

Hello! Dear comrades. My name is M. Loather Octopus. I am a free thinking Neo-Communist (anti-Batista), car racing enthusiast, beer aficionado, connoisseur of Russian women and malt whisky, the chief of refined taste and innovation, secretary to the government of internal bleeding and swelling, Nagasaki bombing survivor, mastermind behind 10/11, fan of Al-Sheek-Kabab Mujahideen, descendant of Esau and Star ship commander. From the time when I was young, I often caught myself thinking deep dark things. Most of the time, these thoughts don’t relate to anything, but other times whimsical, retarded or downright insane. As I grew older, I was always fascinated by fictional characters. In loving memory of those great souls/characters, who, i always look up and fascinate– not sexually but in a manner of admiration, may i present to you...(drum rolllllllls)Robert Langdon,Thomas Anderson, Optimus Prime,the Terminator,the Grrreat Shaolin maaaster,Jean luc Picard, Robin Hood and the Phantom; the...

In today’s world of uncertainty, where chaos, social unrest, panic, utter embarrassment, repugnance and self-loathing is ubiquitous, with random people running helter-skelter brandishing their axes, swords, Rambo knives, Trishul, obelus etc., to slay each others’ pig, cow, buffalo, goat and other domesticated animals, there is one (O-N-E) subtle way to remain tranquil amid all evil. Yes, prodigy! You got it right. Being “cool” let you enjoy better physical, mental and oral health. Being “coolest” let people know who you are – your personality, talents, integrity, temperament, lumpiness and yes, apathy. Though some people genetically have it (coolness), most do not. Fortunately, now, here is a glimmer of hope for those uncool people. Learn and practice few simple steps and soon you will be on your way to absolute coolness. Cool talking: Using rap words would elevate your social status. This will falsely lead people to conclusion that you are, in fact, cool regardless of how uncool you ...

Stepping out the door, everyday, without a plan is my usual modus operandi. With no purpose, I keep walking and all of a sudden step on a mud duck, and yell, “WHY IS IT ME ALL THE TIME?” This method, in fact, has lead to spontaneous ingenuity, synchronistic encounters, adventures, handful of references, a restraining order, prison term and eventually a death sentence. But, life doesn’t seem to end there. It has much to offer. Life is often a lonesome road – a voyage through pain, joy, ecstasy, hope, fear, monotony, infatuation, love, intimacy, lust and chemistries – upon which we sometimes catch a flash of torchlight and wonder, “WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY HAIR?” This subtle quality – the manifestation of stupidity, indolence and oddity – is however the most essential factor of any individual (Pen and paper. Note it). As a cultural facilitator, my task is to turn a wild party into a boring social gathering. Unlike “A lot like love” Ok, don’t get swayed away by the subhead, it was just my v...

Following a year-long sting operation, involving a pirated Sony handycam, in the mosquito infested jungles of West Bengirl it has come to light that notorious Naxal leader Kisanji is none other than Mumta didi. This startling revelation came a day after Bengirl government let off the Naxal leader in Midnapoor province. "To be honest, we were shocked," an obscure reporter of national newspaper said. The team behind the revelation explained there were a number of reasons why Kisanji was Mumta. "Hey! you scumbag, are you listening or not? am i talking to a statute? why are you acting over smart. You being a reporter doesn't mean you have owned the world!!", the team manager slammed one of the reporter, who was unquestionably under the influence of weed. The team leader then went on to say that "Mumta is Kisanji," adding that "they both looked familiar from the back. (see pic) “Yeah, we pretty much proved that they (Mumta is Kisanji) both look simila...

HOONDA has recalled all its Rickshaw models that had pedal breaks, an option which was installed in approximately 5,000 HOONDA Euro-VIII Rickshaw models. 4,610 of which were reported to have been involved in minor mishaps that led to twisted neck, fractured arms, broken thighs,legs, hands and other expendable body parts and flattened skull etc. “It has been determined that Rickshaws having a pedal breaks have been cited in a disproportionate number of roadway incidents,” company's spokesperson Kughuzumi said. The recall was initiated in response to a case filed by Mamu Ishmail of Silchar, after he was involved in thirty-five tragic rickshaw accident while applying pedal break. “We have a sorution. One fix fol arl moders,” said Kughuzumi, in a culturally insensitive dialect. The sorution, uhh, solution, involves the installation of an emergency arrest system activated by pressing a large red button on the steering. Though its justification remains debatable, the recall is expected ...

EXPLOITING YOUR LIFE AND MAKING IT LOOK LIKE FACTUAL SINCE 4TH CENTURY B.C As per the altered data available on wackypedia, February is Stomach Infection Month, Children’s Dental Disorder Month, International Acute Respiratory Syndrome Month, National Hepatitis Endemic Month, National Chronic Pulmonary Disease Month, International Lower Respiratory Infection Month, Foot-and-Mouth Disease Month, and the month dedicated to lovers infested with malignant disease. The miseries, as you all must be aware, will continue for everyone this month, to the degree that most of your body parts are likely to shiver, shrink, and cramp beyond redemption. So sorry dudes! No luck this month, except some persistent memory loss, palpitations, drowsiness, wooziness, runny nose and losing sense of humor. Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb19): Neptune entered your chart recently increasing your natural humanitarian tendencies but at the same time making you prone to overindulgence. Tensions may erupt in close relationsh...

Writing, as most of us know (for that matter even the average guy), requires aptness and extensive research. For instance collecting microbe samples from cow dung; assessing stool patterns to determine the presence of occult parasites; conducting mixed-method research i.e., qualitative and quantitative phase, on mating cycle of dogs; calculating profit and loss, involving abacus, in owning a dance bar or anything that has bar at the end e.g., Milkybar, sambar, iron bar, Mahesh bar, sidebar etc. Ok. Not funny. However, at times, writing turns into all the more complicated situation then the mid-life crisis period, where usually, people of middle age group (particularly in mid-20s) lose self-confidence, choosing instead to indulge in hallucination and cause severe economic imbalance in the society, thus, dipping per-capita income to all time low, from, say, Rs.1 lakh to Rs.5 [citation necessarily not necessary]. Not only this, there comes a time in everybody’s life (yeah, even you), when...

Saddened by the decline in contraceptive usage among the citizens while performing sexual intercourse, the center has decided to slash the price of condom by 25 paise. "Condom which used to cost Re.1 would now cost 75 paise," union health ministry spokesperson C.Kataria told newsmen outside 22, Shamnath Marg here. Mr.Kataria expressed hope that, with the decrease in condom price, there would be unprecedented increase in sexual activity among the citizens. This (decision to lower price), he said was in view protect the common man's interest. "The Government will ensure that least burden is passed on to citizens...while also ensuring that their health is protected," Mr.Kataria remarked. Sex politics: BJP, Left Meanwhile, the Left and BJP slammed condom price cut decision and said the Congress led UPA government was playing “sex politic.” RJD chief Alu Prasad, who is known as a man with gift of the gab, described slashing of condom price as votebank politics, but r...

Candice Night of Blackmore's Night Magical World by Blackmore’s Night is one atypical song that I can simply listen and spend rest of my life without doing anything...i mean i can zzzimbbly sit and listen to the magic tunes of MW. I have been hunting for this song for so long and today I found this treasure stashed deep inside the web. i present to you NightBlackmore’s Magical World --- i just love this song-read it.... I called your name out loud in the courtyard, The crystal I held was like an old friend The vines crawled the walls The wind held its breath But the answer I longed for never came... Your name, they had said, was cursed beyond measure, The families at odds fought with poisoned tongues And yet through the dark Of blind, bitter hate, Broke a glittering light of two lover's fate... Walls built between us, Miles seperate us, Yet in our hearts, we share the same dream... Feelings so strong, We just must carry on, On to our Magical World... Destiny called them like ...

When ever I listen to Cyndi Lauper’s “Time after time”, there is this burning sensation, which ripples through my nerves and eventually causes heartache. I encountered this song at a very tender age, not so tender though, and instantly I fell in love with this song. Here’s “time after time”, one of my ALL TIME favourite by Cyndi Lauper. Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick, and think of you caught up in circles confusion-- is nothing new Flashback--warm nights-- almost left behind suitcases of memories, time after-- sometimes you picture me-- I'm walking too far ahead you're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said-- Then you say--go slow-- I fall behind-- the second hand unwinds chorus: if you're lost you can look--and you will find me time after time if you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting time after time after my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray watching through windows--you're wondering if I'm OK secrets stolen from deep insid...

We often gripe about stuffs for not being in right place as it should be. don't we? Also, sometimes, when we are sober, we curse the past (history) for certain reasons, as in "this bastard mathematics should not have been invented at the first place, this stupid calculation thing forced me to take up arts in my college" and stuffs like that. Based on true-life** accounts (with loud Ludwig van Beethoven’s retarded Ninth Symphony playing in the background) I present to you some of history’s earth-shattering events and discoveries that malformed the World. In other words, moments that left deep brown scar in human history. No, really! For instance, invention of the wheel in Mesopotamia (Iraq), and subsequent innovations led men to live an indolent life. The discovery of numerals, on the contrary, brought dejection to people who get terrified of anything mathematical (excluding me), The Holocaust (Ohkay! please don’t give that oh-god-i-did-not-know-he-was-a-Jew looks, as I am...

GUWAHATI (PPP): At least three woman activist of one NGO sustained physical smash up when miscreants opened fire several cum shots at an open rally in Assam North district, sources said. Giving details of the incident, senior police officials said at least four miscreants emerged from a nearby orchard, half naked, in Sunpapar town and opened indiscriminate cum fire on the crowd attending the rally. However, according to reliable sources, the miscreants, who came in a van around 2.45 p.m., kept driving and cuming, and later fled. Senior police officials, along with paramedics, rushed to the spot and took the sperm samples for further investigation. Meanwhile, the police have released the sketch of a suspect on the basis of details provided by eyewitnesses. TO READ MORE VISIT MY SITE MORE FREQUENTLY.