EAT MEAT AND SHIT
“I don’t give a piece of shit to what people say, I only give a piece of meat to what people pay”, said the President-in-charge of 55th A/C Food Union of Nagaland (F.U.N) during the inaugural function of 585994th butcher in town.
I too sincerely don’t give a darn shit to what introvert had to say, but to my WaKaW!!(Surprise), F.U.N has constitution as well, where their preamble reads like this- ‘we the semi-literate members of F.U.N, inarticulately resolves to constitute our Plate-full-of-meat-on-the-extreme-left-side-of-the-entrance-door to be a communist (Marxist) before we, altogether say 1, 2, 3 and burp away…’ plizzzzz…that wasn’t a joke, consider it.
I guess some sort of infectious virus might have polluted their mind, body and soul while drafting their (stupid) constitution which I believe might be causing irritation to you because it doesn’t make any sense. Right?
Now-kicking politics aside-how greedy do you develop yourself when the visual and smell of whatever meat happens to stroll around your cunning eyes and sniffer dog type nostril?
Don’t get agitated and get yourself killed in a factional feud by this question, because I am not going to file a law suit against you in a Doubashi Court and take the case upto supreme court until I win the case against you. What I am saying is, be practical and accept the reality of being a Naga; who truly eats meat and shits all over, without any proper destination, to which F.U.N truly represents.
I can hazily remember, once (I don’t really remember if it was during uncle Jamir’s tenure or uncle Rio’s early coalition days) there was a comprehensive ban vis-à-vis import on swine, in Nagaland. Then, the whole of Nagaland became pale: pale like a worm that escapes the bowl during loose motion. People were mentally and physically enfeebled, uncertainty of living and chaos swamped our society, every child’s dream seem to have been shattered and everything seem to have come to a DOT
But hehahaha…predictably that ban didn’t last long, after all it was all about the desire to chomp endlessly till the plate gets dry like a sub-Saharan desert.
Quote this- the ban didn’t last long, the pigs were back loaded in a train, exactly like in the poem, “The Send Off” by Wilfred Owen (if you don’t remember).
One more thing to note here is that, during this ban the economy of Nagaland surged to unbelievable heights, making the American economy shy away in disgust. The implication is very clear, people started to invest their capital in new economic ventures instead on meats! However, since their mouth stared to miss the bite of meat the pigs were deployed back into their respective cantonment and thus economy started to decline to the present state. You may call it exaggeration but some people even went upto the extent of selling their properties to eat meat and shit.
The Naga festivals and occasions means end of days to pigs and mithuns around the neighbourhood- which I suppose, constantly reminds them of the popular dialogue in the Last Supper, “Is that me, oh lord?” and indeed the lord says yes and puts their pieces into the scale for final judgment (Rs 90 a kilo).
Jokes apart; it’s been quite some time loooooong that I’ve been deprived of having a smoked meat, drenched in Axone gravy with trodden colocasia along with any kind of leafy (Ayikibiye) on the corner of my plate and . You plump glutton, I can fancy your mouth is flowing like a Tizu river. Sluuurrp… and join the F.U.N.
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