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Lions leave moshers ask for more

December 16, 2008 would be remembered as one of the most memorable day for almost every mosher who moshed around the moshpit at DDSC stadium Tuesday evening. It was the date for another ‘Rock-for-a-cause’ show, as internationally acclaimed and legendary band ‘White Lion’ took the stage, LIVE! Following a brief holdup, the opening riffs and beats of local band ‘Native Rising’ (NR) kicked off the show, along with some amazing stage stunts. With their original “On my own” NR roused the reception. “Shine”, “Near up” by XTC got a loud and unanimous ‘Yes!” from the crowd, and a wide smile from the band. And that was not the end. It was clearly just the beginning of a very memorable evening. The true psychedelic experience began with “White Lion”, as they crossed the threshold and invaded the stage with their powerful and amplifying sound. After paying homage to deaf children, through the instrumental prelude, Lions showed up with “Dream” before moving onto the goosebump-inducing ...
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Math Problems

A name-brand bottle of rum costs $12.95. The generic brand sells for $7.50. If a math teacher buys 4 bottles of generic rum each week, how much does he save each month? How much does he save each year? How much money does the teacher save over the course of 11 years? A math teacher’s new apartment is approximately 12 ft. long and 5 ft. wide and the bathroom takes up 50% of the apartment. A normal, human-sized bed is 6 ft. by 3 ft. Does he have enough room for a standard bed? Or will he have to sleep in some kind of dog bed? By order of the high courts, a math teacher must keep a 1000 ft distance from his ex-wife at all times. Say, theoretically, she lives on 63rd and 1st, exactly half-way between his apartment and the school. How far out of the way does the teacher have to walk every morning just to keep from getting arrested? A math teacher is frightened 95% of the time. How many hours a day is he frightened? What is he so afraid of? After 11 years of service, a math teacher receives ...
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LIMERICKS FOR OLD & YOUNG

THE OLD MAN FROM THE ISLES There was an old man from the Isles Who suffered from terrible piles He couldn’t sit down Without a deep frown So he had to row standing for miles THE FUSSY OLD WOMAN A fussy old woman called Breeze Thought her home was infested with fleas So she used gasoline, And her form was last seen Flying over the tops of the trees THE YOUNG FELLOW FROM LEEDS There was young fellow from Leeds Who loved packet of seeds In a month, silly ass He was wrapped up in grass And couldn’t sit down for the weeds THE OLD MAN OF MADRID There was an old man of Madrid Who ate sixty five eggs, yes he did When asked “Are you faint”? He replied “No I aint, But I don’t feel as well as I did”
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Horrific lives of ‘chana’ Hawkers

In this age of political uncertainties and economic downturn, where Ms.Gandhi ruled India with an iron fist and people walked backwards, there are also some cavemen – in caves – who do not recognize the risks and details involved in “chana-mix” business. Most (many many) cavemen feel that life of a ‘chana’ hawker is spicy and yummy – a life with no worries and peppered with assorted types of chic spices. Yes, it is true that “chana-mix” hawkers have instant access to a dash of salt, mustard oil, onion, puffed rice, sliced tomatoes, coriander leaves, chilies and, of course, chickpeas. But, one should also note that “chana-mix” business is a trade so dangerous that if you dare to venture out without wearing armour, you have 100% chance of getting flattened by a speeding truck, while pushing the pushcart on the roadside. At present, it is one of the most dangerous professions known to man. “It’s a lethal profession,” says “chana-mix” trader, Bhola, who always aspired to be a nuclear scien...
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Random tips for the insane; epileptic account

Before I walk tiptoe on to my usual route, I must take this opportunity to first apologize to all the loyal readers, fans and admirers (eesh…admirers), for this about to discuss out of character article. But, the intent of this article, my friends, is nonetheless noble and lofty, despite arbitrary in approach. I know everybody out there – doing nothing worthy other than just sitting and playing sudoku– expects only the highest level of journalism, with deep intellectual reflections and unbiased reportage that exposes deepest darkest secrets this world has to hide from you. However, dear friends, far, far way from such filthy serious issues, there are certain follies like improper usage of vibrating apparatus such as cell phones, vacuum cleaner, power-driven dolls/infant toys etc., which actually needs proper attention, so that it could be discussed and resolved forthwith. Ok. Don’t get me wrong with the above statement. The about-to discuss article is, in fact, a recycled concept of a ...
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Remnants of inner thoughts, part-I

Hello! Dear comrades. My name is M. Loather Octopus. I am a free thinking Neo-Communist (anti-Batista), car racing enthusiast, beer aficionado, connoisseur of Russian women and malt whisky, the chief of refined taste and innovation, secretary to the government of internal bleeding and swelling, Nagasaki bombing survivor, mastermind behind 10/11, fan of Al-Sheek-Kabab Mujahideen, descendant of Esau and Star ship commander. From the time when I was young, I often caught myself thinking deep dark things. Most of the time, these thoughts don’t relate to anything, but other times whimsical, retarded or downright insane. As I grew older, I was always fascinated by fictional characters. In loving memory of those great souls/characters, who, i always look up and fascinate– not sexually but in a manner of admiration, may i present to you...(drum rolllllllls)Robert Langdon,Thomas Anderson, Optimus Prime,the Terminator,the Grrreat Shaolin maaaster,Jean luc Picard, Robin Hood and the Phantom; the...
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Steps to being ultimate cool

In today’s world of uncertainty, where chaos, social unrest, panic, utter embarrassment, repugnance and self-loathing is ubiquitous, with random people running helter-skelter brandishing their axes, swords, Rambo knives, Trishul, obelus etc., to slay each others’ pig, cow, buffalo, goat and other domesticated animals, there is one (O-N-E) subtle way to remain tranquil amid all evil. Yes, prodigy! You got it right. Being “cool” let you enjoy better physical, mental and oral health. Being “coolest” let people know who you are – your personality, talents, integrity, temperament, lumpiness and yes, apathy. Though some people genetically have it (coolness), most do not. Fortunately, now, here is a glimmer of hope for those uncool people. Learn and practice few simple steps and soon you will be on your way to absolute coolness. Cool talking: Using rap words would elevate your social status. This will falsely lead people to conclusion that you are, in fact, cool regardless of how uncool you ...
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